My BF has a lot of original ideas. He’s one of those idea junkies. He also has a lot of one-liners that he enjoys tossing around; some good, some bad but they still evoke a smile or at the very least a smirk.
One that I never tire of hearing even though I hear it a lot is “No ask, no get.” We haven’t known each other too long but I assume he’s asked a lot over the years, because he has always seems to get his way. Not only does he have a lot of stuff but he always seems to rope people in doing stuff for him, usually free.
I suppose I’m a master at this in my own way, although I would consider it less skillful persuasion than reciprocation as I like to do things for others which manifest itself in an exchange system of sorts. I’m a believer in karma and the principle that what goes around comes around. It’s why I blog. While I don’t get paid for it, I like to share my thoughts and knowledge and hopefully inspire others to chase their dreams.
This morning as I was dragging my dog on a run and listening to music, I heard a great line which I stole for my headline above; “My mama always said that if you need five cents don’t ask for three.” It’s from a De la Soul song.
It got me thinking….
I’m not shy at asking for what I want but when it comes to dreams and desires and goals, I’ve tended to be a bit thrifty. Others might see me as ambitious but I’m what the BF calls a “quiet achiever” or a “doer.” That’s in contrast to the “dreamer” who wishes and fantasises about what they want but doesn’t take the necessary action to achieve their desires. In my own way, I’ve been able to go after what I want, usually with good results, but the targets have never been massive. I don’t like to be disappointed, so I suppose I’ve tended toward the conservative side of dreaming.
Toward the end of my run, I came to the realisation that I’ve been short-changing myself on goals lately. It’s not that my goals themselves are too skimpy, rather it’s been my attitude that’s been lacking. Some part of myself has been self sabotaging in the respect that I’ve felt I somehow wasn’t deserving of the things on my wish list. I also realised that as a result of my innate conservatism, I wasn’t taking the risks I needed to get what I wanted. In other words, while I wanted five cents, I was thinking I only deserved three, so there was disconnect between my goals and my belief in my ability to achieve them.
So what do I want presently that I’m not getting. A few things I guess:
While, I’ve been wanting to grow the number of followers on my blog, I haven’t been blogging regularly enough to attract them. When I inspected my stats recently I found that actually for the few blogs I have posted, I have some amazing traffic. So my perception was totally out of alignment with reality and that’s encouraged me to step up my game.
On the personal side, I’ve also been going in circles trapped in a pattern of negative thinking that was inadvertently holding me back from the direction I wanted my relationships to go. I’ve adopted a new attitude here and hopefully some new behaviours as well and already I’ve seen encouraging signs of change.
So what does any of this have to do with money? Everything.
Money is a byproduct of intention, action and energy. When your efforts are out of synch from what you want then your energy is also affected because you are working at odds with what you want to achieve. When the two are matched, your energy is a positive one because you are in a state of flow.
When you are working in a state of flow, quite often you don’t even need to ask. What you want lands on your doorstep. This is the magic of flow and why I love yoga so much because it encourages this state of inner and outer connectivity.
Find your flow and the money will follow but it never hurts to ask.
Amanda Morrall is a New Zealand based personal finance expert. Her first book Money Matters was published in 2013 by Penguin Random House in NZ.